.you'vetied a knotat theend of yourbloodline,you wishshe'd stopcuttingit off,you arefifteen andthe earthinyour headbecomesbarren -life willnot beweeding it'sway intoyou,now you'renot surewhatyou're writingabout,you justknow thatyou needto write(there's a fish with a hook in it's eye, screaming no, this isn't how it's supposed to go)
.i often ask myself questionsand answer them too,maybe tell yourkids this,that i'm the wolf in the woods, i justsaw red and couldn't help it, whatcan i say i've got atemper, i couldn't waitto grip her neck insidemy jaws n shake it, snapit clean, cracked like a twig,you see she was a bitch she was awhore, she had itcoming, with hersweet laugh and her lips, herswaying hips inside, she carrieda rifle in her cloak, she wantedmy pelt for the angry winter,and her old gran? i suckedthe meat fromher lame ribs like she'd have donethe same to mine, i licked mychops and got inbed,had good sweet dreams untilthat axe man, that old drunk,who thought he had some bigger ballscame stumbling in through her frontdoor,they found his gutson the hall floor,and i can stillsmell it amileoff -but what i'm sayingkids, the moral is,there's nothing little bout the amountof red you're gonna see inlife, it's all about whether or notyou've got the stonesto fucking stomach it(
.you still gota heart that beats in halves?a mouth like a bear trap,don't kiss me -that anchor tattooon your foot, it still holding youdown to the earth?that skull on your chest,you still dead in there?i told you i wouldn'tdisappear again,but i kept my eyes fixedon the exit,and if i'm being honesti lied,i spoke in the tongue of my own,i was out of that door like a shotwhat a buzz -a hive full of angry words,queen of the nestfull of hate but the honey issweet when you smoke themall out of the way,get them drunk get themtalking andleaving my mouthin swarms(hope it stings)
.think i'm madas a hatter,just becausei want to sit anddrink tea with the deadfor a whileon a sunday afternoon?just cos i like totrace the patterns inthe woodwork onthe table with my fingerswhen we're talking,yes,something has beenhere before,and it's us,with words so wellused that they're nowdamaged andwe can't even tell whatthey mean anymore(still cramming them into the distance though)
.there are a million different worldsthat have been built on top of this one, and i know this cause they whisper throughthe cracks of doors in secretto each other -i heard you're never more than six feetfrom a rat, eight from a spider andseventy from the sea, please, don't letyourself drift any further out from me(holy ghost, are you flammable?)
.watching the skychurn itself thickerand thickerthe birds tireand drown asit sets aroundthem(no fight, and no flight either)
.dandelion seeds inthe wind,and they're saying,you know you could dothis too -you need to get outif you're going togrow,don't go blowingyour head off though -(tear yourself away from there, go get set somewhere else just like we do)
.i wantto know about god,which namehe would prefer to go byi want to knowabout the stairwayup to heaven,and why sliding downthe bannister into hellis much more fun(think i tried to climb a step that wasn't there, think i might have died more than once)
.i ami amhiding poetry under the sheetsthink my heart might be beatingthe shit out of meonly thing up there is theclouds, and they don't givea fuck either, the only thingdown there is the dirt, andthat's what you are, you'rea liar(he will say you're gonna have to lower your standards a bit, got a room downstairs might be more suited)
.it's the graveyardshift tonight -the moon drapesher silver shroud aroundyour shoulders as you leave,she knows you're tiredof working it outhow the earth rotateslike a spinning topbetween his forefinger and thumb,the one you believe you'reall stuck under(bloody feet, got soles encrusted with rubies)
.i wakequiet andblindblindblind,the darknessglowingoutside andin(he said dead was the best way that thing could ever have been anyway)
.she saysdarling,you weren't madefor anything else(cutting this cord day by day)
.slicing openthe tips of my fingers,four in one strokethen the thumba little flesh hatfor the spirit in each(love is dead, lilith)
.hope you'redead in a ditch,cold hard hands growing weeds,hope you drop your heart with yourkeys and you can't get back into me, to the two marks you madebefore that one,hope someone smashes youopen pig and the air will refuseto lift up your lungs anymore,scurry away from your lips in the rain again,hope you're still trying to fix yourselfwith vodka and bare hands,hope you learn that if you take someoneapart and expect them to put themselves backtogether, they're going to have a few loosescrews at the end of it all,and jesus christ i rip the grass up bythe roots at 3am because i'm cruel nowand not because there's anything wrongwith my grapefruit(i know and know and know, only one i belong to is death)
.tonight across the street i sawthe devil sneak into god's garden;he took trowel in hand, planted seedsin the earth, grinned real wide andshut the white gate behind him(gonna come up smelling of roses)
.between the cloudsshe says your eyes are meltingblack down your cheeks again,would you just comehere and stop bucking with fear,did you forgetthe only thing growing inside meis panic -enough for me to keepveins as vipers, blood asvenom and love as a deadstiff rat(some only see the light when they're on fire)
.i unzippeda cloud and climbedinside itlike a sleeping bag,the silver liningon my skinfelt rough and itchy,i want to see youmake this one lookbetter,please sew me upinside and let me drainout when it rains,i will be birthedagain as waterfor the flowers and the soildown below -i think i lostmy train of thoughtwhen it smashed rightthrough my temple,i lay on the tracks and waitfor what i knowit brings to kill me, andi'd hate to bea cat and have to do iteight more timesto get some peace,i think i'd picka fight with ahungry fox,drop down from next doorsroof into thepond anddive,go sit in the road til shecalls me inat night, what a fucking bore,i'd like to know whather gutshave to say -and if i dont believein heavenhow can i be scaredof going to hell,i used to hope that timewould tellme but he won't,i know he's neverreally liked me allthat much anyway, alwaysended uptaking your side -and now i only sleep in thefetal positionon nights i wi
.a mother says to her soncan you feel the world lodgedin your rib? do not tellme you can't, it's right thereand let's not tell godanything about this, let's givehim the silent treatment likehe's giving to us,sometimes i wake up wantingto shred myself into ribbonstie me up in a bow and send myselfto your doorstep with noreturn address and let you deal with it,you're not listening and you're notunderstanding, you're too busytrying to read all the text, buti can go days without speakingone word, got a habit of holding mybreath diving into my own mindfor hours, blue bottomless poolriver veins with the bones of a dreamdrifting through, some stuck on thebanks all dried up and thirsty, thisshark tooth reminds me of you so ipress it in hard, still not one singledrop, a baby raccoon floats by withno life but wide eyes, i know you'llpray the horned god sends himstraight to the sea, drown him outwith that voice that says maybenext year when you search foryourself, yo
Barb WireYour barb-wired brainwon't let me in,and I'm getting cuttrying to jumpthe fence.
DarkDon't get lost in the darkA creature is lurking aroundRunning after youKilling is the only thing on its mind
MasksIn the summer,when the air was bright with the scent of nectar and sunshine,she was called fat.Her friends stood away from her,and eyed each other with discomfort so palpable that it hung,suspended in the Gothic hues of the warm evening sky.She laughed,as it was all she could do to hide thepain that gnawed so badly insidealmost immediately, it was joined by that of her friends.It was there,she crafted her first mask;imbued with betrayal and hurt.She named it confidenceand put it on In the fall,when the carnival left sweet aftertastesreminiscent of a fragrant dream,she was called ugly.The fragile and furled leaves cascaded over the dying summer breezeand as she closed her eyes,she wondered to herself,"Where are my friends?"When no answer came to her,she slowly took out a blank mask,from the hollow expanse inside of her.She poured her sadness into it,slathering it with the color of frustration.She called it "desirable",and she made it hers In the
UncontaminatedThey said 'fat' like it's contagious.
.What do you want to be when you grow up?They ask it like a dare.As if letting your unlikely dreamsslip from the safety of your mindcould bring their owna little closer to reality.
.spinning. i often wonderif there is anything wrongor if it's all just conjured up nonsensespiraling in my head
Glowing Bottle FAQI though I should do this so I don't have to re-type stuff over and over again! Besides, you'll find info here faster than me replying to you.Last update: September 16th.BUYINGBefore you buy ANYTHING from me, you MUST read my shop policies!• Where and how do I buy these?They are available every other weekend in my Etsy shop. This is the only place I will sell them. My Etsy shop only accepts Paypal, so keep that in mind. I also open custom order sometimes, but rarely. Check my front page / journal history for that!• What is the price?They range from $15 to $50. I know that's a huge gap, but it all depends on the supplies used, on the glow material, on the time taken, and maaaaany more factors.• Can I request a pe
the only letter I've ever wanted to burni.if you want to give someone the silent treatment,the first step is shutting up.ii.things made much more sensewhen I was younger.I thought there was one path,each choice a stepping stone upon it.in reality there are a million roadsintertwined like rope.I got lostandsomehowI chose you.iii.promises are easily broken.I knew that,but it still hurtspending friday nightshivering in the rain,choking on cannabis perfumein a dirt parking lotyour face never graced.and I hoped against hopeyou might appear,but I wasted my wishingon ungrateful you.aborted love,you died before taking your first breath.iv.I took a chanceand I should've known better.you can give somebody all you haveand nothing can stop them fromthrowing it away.you've made this bed,now lie in it.you slit this suture,you're the goddamn reasonI gave up on the month of april,and soon enough you'll fall on your own bladelike some drunken samurai.v.if you want
My DiseaseMy fingers bleed wordsthat my lips cannot say.When they try to trickle out,I scowl and turn away.It may not be contagious,but it is a disease.Holding myself deep inside,it's getting hard to breathe.Lies come so easy,to cover up the truth.It’s like my second nature,grown from my very youth.It’s deeper than conviction,more earnest than a thought.It’s my wayIt’s my lifeIt is my disease.
.tonightthe moon is rotting,my hands are not my ownmy blood is howling(treetops glow silver)