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.in a poem
to life, so i write
about you, i write
about you, and i
am still keeping
(light the path then, lantern eyes, if you know the fucking way out of here)
.they all say,
it's a good thing
you fell far
from that tree
and i can't
take another bite;
the pips inside
(spit spit spit)
.i will marry the moon
and adopt a son, teach
him not to play with the
hearts of stars
(but he will)
i will bring home a man,
give him hope, hear him
and then cough
up his guts
on the floor
(i will end up there anyway, might as well say a prayer whilst i'm down there)
the conversation with the anesthetist,
he said place your thumbs over your eyes
and press gently, and i replied isn't that
and no i can't feel my hands but i'm
not really bothered, i will sleep
sleep and sleep, i won't need them,
and please keep an eye on the sea til i
wake, it might pack up its fish and
go travelling, it might leak through
the holes in the earth like a sieve,
all the shipwrecks and sharks will
(i don't believe in anything, and that makes me a liar because i believe in that)
(i'd rather walk myself home, bare feet cold on pavement)
i worry about
but still living
inside me i
(gonna build you up nice and bitter)
.there are some things i've seen and heard that really
get to me sometimes, like those birds and mice with teeth marks
on their little red raw thighs,
rotting flowers, i recall he said this is a waste of time
and you're a waste of space, it's just impossible to hold
a conversation with you these days,
let it go, just fucking drop it,
keep your mouth shut unless i say
i think i froze to death last night, my fingertips turned blue,
i heard a cloud say fuck you boy, did i come all this way for you
to say that i look like a rabbit,
better places i could be
i've seen my shadow put two fingers to her head
and pull the trigger, heard my echo laugh
about it with the walls, and every time
i hold a match i hear it
whispering to me,
if you don't want me to burn you,
then you're gonna have to blow me
i heard that you can't tame a lion just by pulling
at his mane, i heard that blood feels good
on porcelain and not just i
then i'm sure
to hold you
(been too busy dreaming to get any sleep)
.there is a body
bloodless and pale,
with dirty hands
trying to wash it all
off, because if she
cannot see it there's
a chance it won't
so she buried
the blood in the
mud with her baby
teeth, asked the
river to take it
away, felt her bones
heave a sigh as she
lay them all down
on the bank
(and no doubt he will say she was crazy, this bitch, with her tongue and her teeth and her mind)
disorder"mirror, mirror, on the wall
who's the fairest of them all?"
i whispered to my doleful reflection,
but this was no fairy tale:
this was a small town on a cold, foggy night.
my skeleton was so beautiful
i wanted to showcase it,
give onlookers a glimpse of my impending
death through my very flesh.
i could picture myself, edges carved away
like a cored apple.
i just wanted to feel real.
everyone around me chewed and swallowed so easily
but i just gnawed on my lip until i
tasted blood, and let
a piece of myself die.
the flavor made my mouth water
as my stomach ground out hoarse
requests for expansion, for meaning.
i held nothing within but pathetic yearning,
hollow with self-hatred.
i could only feel affection with pain.
perfection became my obsession,
consuming me alive the way i would have
loved to consume anything at all.
some part of me believe i could be a super model,
and living my life on ambition and emptiness
was the way to do it.
every day i watched the little numbers
were about as predictable
as the quicksilver clock
on our kitchen wall.
you were a steady drumbeat
in the soundtrack of our life
and i was the bass guitar,
when the monotony succeeded
in sawing away at you,
bringing you back from simplicity
with the intricate vibrations
in my nylon strings.
you taped pictures, words
on your ceiling
and fell asleep
staring at them like stars
to the sound of artificial rain.
in the morning,
you woke up to find them
scattered on your warm body
and took them
as messages from the universe.
you were the vanilla scent
that wafted through the house
on wintry days,
and sending me on edge
i was the cold.
i kept you
from melting at the seams,
burning into ash,
bursting into flames
and destroying everything in your wake
but i am still nothing more
than the polar opposite
of your essence.
i am only
a lack of warmth,
and you never wanted
the cold's calculated
Re-thinking art. Your help will be appreciatedHey friends so I haven't made a journal in awhile... and I've been thinking about a lot of stuff...
So I guess i'll just jump into whats eating me.
My art for the past year or so has been bothering me, I'm posting stuff that i'm not really proud of and there are always this I notice that kill me about my art style. Because my life has been busy, stressful and kinda shity lately I haven't really had time for art (or at least art I enjoy)<-- and by that I mean that because i'm so stressed and busy when i finally get to draw that I just draw what I'm comfortable with because i'm not enjoying what i'm doing enough to push myself anymore)))
One of my best friends was saying that he thinks I should start posting stuff that is outside of my comfort zone and exercise my talent more. So bam. I'm gonna.
As an artist I feel like I'm getting more and more stuck with what I'm doing, My friends are all improving around me (which is awesome and I love seeing you guys impro
Work of art.Don't wince at my scars, instead use them to find where I am broken, and put your body against the cracks.
Don't let me fall out of myself again, the parts might fit together, but the breaks are never clean.
Sometimes I feel like glass in the middle of a war zone, just the sound of goodbye may destroy me.
I've picked up the pieces before, cut myself with shards of who I was, carefully pasted them together with who I am, hoping no one would notice.
The trouble is the masking tape I used, doesn't seem to mask anymore.
The trouble is I leave tiny bits of myself behind me, just so I can be found.
The trouble is my heart is made of clay and it might just break with one more fall.
Maybe that's the wonder of me, even once i've broken…I can break again.
© Rocio Belinda Mendez
Growing up, Having a TasteIn the opinion of each of you readers here, what do you suppose it takes to be a professional in order to be accepted in the world of job opportunities and working for the big name companies (in the art department)? It has been a thought that has been recycling over and over in my brain for the past week or two about what it comes to when recruitment comes into play; I have been told and listened in on professors in the field that it is about confidence, other times about hints of pride to hand over to the recruiters, though there is no talk of grades. I suppose that, in the end, grades are letters that signify how good you have been at specific subjects but not at what you plan to achieve in or be given acceptance into.
Neil Gaiman told us that whatever we wanted to do that there was no plan, but to just do it.
Honestly, that is fine. Very well. With hard work, with determination, with opening our minds to new things and learning from those things we can accomplish our greatest
WARNING: Paypal ScamHello again!
Sorry for spamming but I think I should let you guys know about this~
Just a warning, so that you guys are aware of it, although I know this was not the first time
Ok, an hour ago I receive an email from 'Paypal' telling me that I have an unfinished transaction~
It says to click the 'Log In' button which was in the email as well and told me that they will lock my account if I don't do what they told me~
But before I click it... I was thinking and realized that I haven't bought anything online for almost 1-2 weeks...
So, what I did is, I still clicked it to make sure what is this email about and it directed me to the site called 'Peypal'
I was like... 'what the heck is this?'
Of course I didn't log in... since its obvious that it was a fake site
Though, they make it look like the real thing
I am glad I checked the URL before logging in...
I should have Print Screen the fake email...but once I forward it to the Paypal Team, they told me to delete it immediately~
ImpersonatorFor a while I've been thinking creating an account on FA, but now I've been informed that someone already took the name "Kawiko", and also have been pretending to be me and uploaded many of my drawings and commissioned works without any rights or permission.
Anyway, just wanted to inform that "Kawiko" on Furaffinity is NOT me. And wanted to ask for some help since I can't seem to find how FA works or how to report someone there.
It kinda annoy me that i'm not gonna be able to use the same name on FA. Oh well, I guess it's my fault for not creating an account sooner. But it's not much of a big deal anyway.
I'm still gonna make an account on FA eventually and post a link to my real account when I do. And my name won't be Kawiko
negativesyou watched me
with eyes full of strawberries and feathered treetops
but i was colorblind
and lost your reaching hand among
the dripping watercolor foliage
my jaded rods and cones
seeped beeswax waterfalls
into my grayscale arteries
and when i overflowed
your vermilion blood ignited me with vivid sparks
each vertebra arching with your heated hues
wicking flames into my hair
until i shone like an igneous medusa
so when i watched you
with eyes full of newfound chocolate dreams and autumn leaves
i caught only a glimpse of steel blades carving ice
before you turned away
COMMISSION NEW PRICES-ClosedTerms and conditions-
-Please repect that i might have things to do or im just not into doing it right now so please, calm down and dont rush me, if you do i will refund half your commission.
-if i decline your commission do not get mad i just dont want to draw the most likey to be complex character you have requested.
-if i have forgotten to put your commission on my to do list please note me about it, but do not complain about it.
- IF you do not like your commission it will not be myfalut because you did not tell me how you wanted it, but if you did i will REDO it after you have proven to me you have asked it differently(such as the comment or via note)
-if i do your characters designs wrong tell me and i will see if i can fix it.
-Please do not try the "but i really wanted to commission you" or the "PLEASE DO IT FOR ME" thing, it will not work.
-Dont beg thanks.
-you must accept to the terms and conditions to get a commission. uvu
- If you cancel your commishon and I have
Life is but a DreamWe are just unnourished frail bodies,
overfed with white lies and short-lived-euphorias.
Books filled with black letters,
etching lurid images into our utmost dreams.
Veering us from the big picture...
the one we fail to paint ourselves.
Our fists much too busy with fights,
that we are bound to lose.
Too occupied in line waiting,
for creativity to be let loose like a stray dog.
As if we will find home in this pursuit of happiness...
but we only enclose each other in small rooms
with nothing but old laptops.
How many times I've guessed which letter could it be...
Which letter could it be?
To free us from havoc-stricken-thoughts?
They come and go, unending like 24 hour subway stations.
There's no break for this lonely man,
heaving every breathe of stale air
into my overused lungs...
Living in confined walls of flesh
held up with brittle paper-mache bones.
Which day is it that I will burst out from this cage of a life?
And hover with the Gods found in carefully binded bo
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A two-time Community Volunteer for the deviantART Related category, Anne is well-known as a positive, helpful force. She is the community's resident expert when it comes to CSS (Cascading Style Sheets), and her personal gallery offers a wide variety of tutorials for new and experienced coders alike. In addition, each winter she hosts a calendar project encouraging members to create Journal designs for all to use, bringing more creativity to the community.
It is with immense gratitude that we acknowledge Anne as the recipient of the Deviousness Award for October 2014. Read More