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.you are dead and buried
six feet under yourself,
still feeling the way you did
when you were seventeen
and when you bathe, you still
keep your head under the
water, wrists upturned, red
eyes open, trying to drown yourself
.when her love left, it left
the house empty
and she says
i hope one day it'll
come back to me,
cos i don't keep this shotgun
on my front porch for nothin'
.my mind said he was
going out to get some
sanity, don't think he's
coming back because
his things are gone
and now i'm up to my
neck in words that have
snapped cos i twisted
them all too far
(it gets me down so much that it keeps me up at night)
.my cat has nine
lives and i fear he will
spend each one doing
the same fucking
staring out of the
window at the birds on
the fence, when he could be
out there, sinking his
.she wants to taste the moon
between forefinger and thumb she
plucks it from the sky, and like
some great pearly gobstopper
rolls it over her tongue,
licks the dust from her
shuts her eyes
.and i stopped killing spiders
when i realized that we are both just trying
to make our way in the world
and he hasn't got a clue
how he ended up on my bathroom floor
and i can turn out the lights to
stop the moths from killing themselves
but i can't turn off my brain and
stop myself from doing the same
.at night, something mad
climbs into bed with me and
i go to war with myself -
words i do not want sit on the tip
of my tongue, so i bite the whole
thing off - crimson droplets fall
from the sky, and i start bleeding
rain - dead babies, their heartbeats
slipping through the cracks in my
floorboards - kettles abandoning
pots and then finding that neither
can function properly - white sheets,
pillowcases, walls and white faces -
a rabid cat clawing at the inside of
my temple, let me out - krill in the
bellies of whales, their hearts like
empty lockets - suffocating in the
silver lining - secrets giggling like
children in my mind, a game of hide
and seek i don't think i want to win -
a lamb frolicks around the body of a
lion and i reap something i never
even sowed in the first place
(you idiot, you idiot, what have you done)
.i have learnt enough about gravity
to know that he can do what i can't, myself
snap my bones like twigs
he says that beautiful things are
the easiest to break
why we're better now back the way we came past
yellow-eyed coyotes, two
getting the hell out of
our futuristic vineyard,
expanses spilling oceans
on my neck. I wanted something
certain from you
the heart attack
I slept through
now, my lips pulse;
sanguine peaches making
music of arrhythmic lace
as you rupture in the sea:
a wet throat blooming
open in tessellations
you've been dead for a year, my deari met you on december 21st,
the longest night of the year.
you had solstice eyes: cold, dark, alluring.
i knew you were not meant to last,
powerful as a gale but fragile as
the tulip stems you snapped,
a sickening cycle of you,
an overwhelming tidal wave.
they say two wrongs will never make a right,
but i made so many bad choices that
i wound up back where I began.
it was too easy to love you,
but getting you to love me back was impossible.
i clawed at your chest until I struck blood,
until my nails split into shards.
you were born a phantom,
and i, your corpse.
holding onto you felt like drowning in quicksand;
i fought but always sank into your arms.
i breathed in dirt, breathed in dust, and
found my organs choked with you,
smothered by your existence.
you sucked out my breath
every time i kissed you.
i died every day with your hand
knotted in my hair.
You left on june 21st,
the longest day of the year.
i bit down sorrow and deconstructed
the labyrinth within me,
the one you hadn't th
life lessons.laugh a little,
love a lot.
you'll get your heart broken
so maybe not,
but who am i
to call the shots?
sadness will consume you
if you allow it to.
happiness is a few steps away,
but it's up to you to find its path
& don't forget,
nothing will last.
take what you get
& work for what you want.
know that something will set
but waiting will get you nowhere.
be kind to those you love
so they'll know that you're there.
play the hand you're dealt
& gamble what you want.
learn to deal
because all of it is real.
learn your lessons
before you play them out.
know them thoroughly
before you get out.
Identity Crisis who are you
who am i
are we lovers
leaving behind scarlet letters
& last minute kisses
are we foes
green eyes & angry fists
who are you
who am i
maybe peeling back
these layers of skin
will unravel the answer,
but what happens
when there's nothing left;
bloody hands & empty eyes
Who are you
who am i
are the shadows that we see
inside this reflective glass
or is that too,
the galaxy won't tell
its mouth has long gone dry,
leaving my page blank
who are you
& who am i
a hospital bird with soot in her lungsshe slept through a car crash
that almost killed her.
through whitewhite walls,
where her lover dies.
nobody thought she'd make it,
but she woke up a few months later
with flowers in her hair
and ash in her airway;
trying to remember how to start all over,
but forgetting to remember how to live.
fall slipped from her open eyes
and winter crawled in for a long hibernation
to her the clouds looked sick
and pale like they might
let everything inside them out,
but she opened up wide instead,
spilling blood where there was none to be spilled.
her heart slipped down the street
and with unsteady hands
she stitched in a bird and cut off its wings.
The ArtistShe really was an artist
She knew of all the shades and hues
To keep people from noticing
That blotchy purple blooming bruise
She fiddled with her palette
Mixed pain in with her dread
Painted her arms with blood
Of the most startling red
Her artwork was her passion
t'was never put to trial
For she would always remember
To paint herself a smile
Nine LivesThe first time I died,
I was five years old.
My father, tired of my crying,
threw me against my bedroom wall.
I felt my breath leave my lungs as I fell to the floor.
I feared death then,
It's icy grip, around my throat.
Choking me, stopping the air.
My head pounding, begging for blood, begging for life.
My mother killed me next,
It was a car accident.
Not her fault, but the result was the same.
Flying thru the cabin, and into the glass.
Time stood still, and then I was gone.
When I was in High School, things took a turn for the worse.
I died on a dare, Drowning that time.
An auto accident, my friend driving drunk.
A jealous boyfriend. I can't remember them all.
They begin to fade after a time.
A few years ago, a motorcycle crash.
Some deer in the road, pain before all went black.
Suicide next, when my life was a mess.
It's surprising how easy it comes and it goes.
The fear that you felt when your young, no more.
The Buddah says, there is no past, and no future,
They do not exist. All t
4 haiku in parting.we left the gas station at 8.
i could see all the candy lights,
reds stuck in your dashboard,
count the spots on your cheeks.
you said you thought about me a lot.
7 motes from your eyelashes,
traded with a silver band on the carpet,
then i waited for a late ride home.
my stomach popped.
outside became a violet,
and while the windows were open,
you rubbed my shoulder.
syracuseListen to the audio version for the full effect, pretty please.
cloudshot sky like an oil painting and i am watching the
darling, i will swim for you
and swallow every whitecap.
i will pluck myself a coat of pelican wings,
sew them up with salt and spray--
become icarus for you.
you are calling me across the waves, love--
but you pull against the ache
in my bones, the hollow--
the clawing out for unseen sunsets and unturned tides.
i hear you, love
give me time.
i will always listen.
.i heard her say there are
millions of people in the world with
broken hearts, and they survive
well what about the ones that don't?
what about the ones that crack right through
& end up holding onto themselves by the skin
of their pearly whites?
(and are you happy now? do you have a girl? have a kid? do you sleep at night? i've said sorry a thousand times, but i guess it doesn't count when it's in my head)
Dead Man's SwitchIn control, then not -
Sudden loss of grip.
Headlong to where?
Details lost, smudged, streaked.
Careening; no system of
No dead man's switch,
On a fast track -
With or without a god?
Keep in Touch!
Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More