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Submitted on
March 19
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you're afraid
to let anyone
stoke the fire
in your chest
for fear
you will burn
them alive
well
don't be
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:iconsillyforpatatoes:
Sillyforpatatoes Featured By Owner May 29, 2014
Perfect
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:iconangel-brat36:
Angel-Brat36 Featured By Owner May 7, 2014
I adore this one too!
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:iconxxalleyxcatxx:
XxAlleyxCatxX Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014
i love this one so much. <3 
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:icontheemptychest:
TheEmptyChest Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014
How well I can relate. How painfully well. 
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:iconsoralove:
SoraLove Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
:heart: Great poem!
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2014
thank you! :thanks:
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:iconangeliceuphoria:
AngelicEuphoria Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2014  Student General Artist
No, I disagree! 
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:iconw-o-a-nderer:
w-o-a-nderer Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2014
Wow, I really like this. Especially since I misread stoke to be stroke, but I suppose that's what I wanted to read. It's interesting to see all the commenting and critique - I guess it goes to show how we all interpret it the way it suits us to relate to ourselves, even if we do it subconsciously. I like how these few lines have so much potential contained within them for us each to write our own stories between them of what's in our own hearts and heads.
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:iconcat-inbetween:
Cat-Inbetween Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2014
I feel that way all the time. Thanks for beautifully giving the image life.
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:iconrandomwaffle23:
Randomwaffle23 Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
  • You're not being creative with that title. I'd much rather read a poem labelled "untitled". Please, convince me that that period is relevant to the poem.
  • The metaphor is mildly interesting, but it doesn't merit a seven-line poem by itself. There are only two clauses in this poem; don't try to make it look longer than it is.
  • The line breaks are haphazard and too frequent, and break up phrases that would otherwise flow easily. (Particularly "burn them".)
  • The idea of "burning them alive" follows the "fire in your chest" metaphor okay, but it doesn't symbolize something that could actually happen.
  • Lack of capitalization and punctuation don't automatically make your words mean anything.
Overall, though, the poem's biggest flaw is that it looks like it means something, and it almost means something, but it doesn't.
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