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Submitted on
February 8
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a storm breaks inside
his mouth; my name washes up
on his tongue, stranded
blame
(but it's okay, it's okay)
Add a Comment:
 
:iconcederlina:
Cederlina Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014
I agree, you have the talent to say very much with little words. 
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:iconedelinedawn:
EdelineDawn Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014
Oh my, that's intense...and so much is told in those few words. Brilliant!
Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014
thank you very much! :thanks:
Reply
:iconedelinedawn:
EdelineDawn Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
You're very welcome :)
Reply
:iconjustpromisemethis:
JustPromiseMeThis Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
All your poems are breathtaking. :heart:
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2014
thank you so much :blush:
Reply
:iconaoi9875:
aoi9875 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This one leaves a sort of - disgust feeling behind.
Like feeling sickened... sick and tired. 
When you're recognizing the back and forth routine of a broken someone who wants you to fill them up
When you already knew that of them, and you're realizing its starting over again.

Something like that. 

Anyway, good write. 


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:iconordinary-monster:
ordinary-monster Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2014
Looking at this one together with a few of your other recent deviations and reading them one after the other, as if these were flashes of chapters in a longer story developing in the background... This text  is a great and concise piece of work and I like it on its own right, but intentional or not, the plot does seem to thicken between the deviations. 

And now that I got my conspiracy theory :D on the longer story ongoing, I wonder how long back it might go... Might as well be that individual texts are just that and they should be viewed as such. :) Still, if you ever get to publish your work elsewhere as I all the time more think you should, the order of the texts is pretty clever as they are here..!
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:iconlyrica-lee:
Lyrica-Lee Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Damn this is brilliant. Love it!
Reply
:iconnellie0224:
Nellie0224 Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Two Thumbs Up Two Thumbs Up Two Thumbs Up Two Thumbs Up 
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