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tiny heart drumming
in your chest, i can
hear you

red gravy pumping
in your veins, i can
smell you

you are such a fresh
meal, and i can almost
taste you
but you must dance
for me, yes, see how
easy it is?
push you around
with a flick of my
claw-
Add a Comment:
 
:iconskeyestorm:
SkeyeStorm Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
Sounds like a predator hunting it's prey. Nice work!
Reply
:iconvanshira:
Vanshira Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2014  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I hear a cat hunting.
Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2014
:nod:
Reply
:iconindigodragon456:
IndigoDragon456 Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014  Student General Artist
why am i imagining a turkey dinner? probably the "gravy" part...
Reply
:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2014   General Artist
i can almost envision coagulated blood on a platter. yum.
Reply
:iconkamcpb2000:
kamcpb2000 Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2015  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yummy indeed. :3
Reply
:iconthesoaringbutterfly:
thesoaringbutterfly Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, so dark and sensual.  This gives me chills.
Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2014
thank you so much ;)
Reply
:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
"red gravy pumping
in your veins, i can
smell you"

So brilliant.
Reply
:iconvlairebelle:
Vlairebelle Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
This is strangely sensual to me... very nice!
Reply
:iconskychamber:
SkyChamber Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2014
:)
Reply
:iconformaniac:
formaniac Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Student Writer

I adore this, but something about the last stanza doesn't sit right with me.


I think it is the addition of "and" to the refrain which makes it 6 syllables instead of five like the others. Personally, I think I would prefer "and I can/ almost/ taste you"


But in any case, stellar piece of writing. Great images and as always beautifully put :)

Reply
:iconlibertades:
Libertades Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Excellent choice of words! Perfect timing and use of text.
Reply
:iconchiselstone:
chiselstone Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014
AWESOME STUFF  !! 
Reply
:iconspiderwebwisher:
SpiderwebWisher Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I love that red gravy part. :)
Reply
:iconhellionscythe:
HellionScythe Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014
"Red gravy"...I have NEVER heard blood mentioned like that before. And I love it :heart:
Reply
:iconbluediamondsnow:
BlueDiamondSnow Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
red gravy! :) Love that.
Reply
:iconpokepower888:
Pokepower888 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Dang, poetic kitty.

I wants to cuddle him~
Reply
:iconmeowkittycat478:
meowkittycat478 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014
Love the creative perspective from the cat. You convey beautiful poetry with so few words. ^^
Reply
:iconcrystallized-skies:
crystallized-skies Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I like the predatorial feel of this. 
Reply
:iconghost-of-a-gone-bird:
ghost-of-a-gone-bird Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014
creepy cat.:) (Smile) 
Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014
he is
Reply
:iconjohnashleigh:
JohnAshleigh Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014   Writer
An accomplished use of refrain. It works very well. Thankyou for sharing.

Regards,
John.
Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014
thank you :)
Reply
:iconjohnashleigh:
JohnAshleigh Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014   Writer
Pleasure.
Reply
:iconanila73:
anila73 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Oooo, I like the tone.
Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014
:tighthug:
Reply
:iconwordeea:
wordeea Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
haha. excellent
Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014
:thanks:
Reply
:icondevonator4:
Devonator4 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Are you saying you wanna eat us? Because if you want you can.
Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014
i couldn't eat my watchers, i love them too much.
Reply
:icondevonator4:
Devonator4 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Oh come on now
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Well done, Oak. :)
Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014
heh, thanks :) this is more of a ranty poem to be honest, i'm sick of waking up to little corpses on the kitchen floor.
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure.
:iconcomfortplz:
Reply
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January 7, 2014
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