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little robin, wings
outstretched in the dirt, a smear
of red on your breast
you won't be singing anymore
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:iconverityrose:
VerityRose Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
For some reason (though most likely because "The Raven" has been on my mind), but I immediately thought "Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'"
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:iconordinary-monster:
ordinary-monster Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2014
I am not much of use with symbolism, but symbolism is what I was thinking with this text. The imagery is strong and clear to see the obvious. But, it sure is fun, and nerve wrecking, to wonder any symbolism there are in play and what in turn that then might mean. And all that without any idea if the choice of words is mere coincidence. I find myself hoping it wasn't to add appeal and entirely new context within the same text. Which is good and to the point to begin with.
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Robins (at least from what I've read) are supposed to represent good parenting, and the essence of true adulthood earned independently. Taken in that context, what I see here, is an allegory: The death of the robin when it was coming of age, is a testament of the sad demise of purity in the youth, who're weaklings in hindsight. The ones who are supposed to be taking the mantle, are fading away, and there aren't that many of them left. Which is why, in the end, the necrotic elements of society are strengthening.

A good haiku.
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:iconghostinafog:
ghostinafog Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014
perfect in its own way
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:iconweekendteeth:
weekendteeth Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
the imagery in this one is beautiful
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:iconpaintingofthevoice:
paintingofthevoice Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This works because the image is so strong. That poor robin :(
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:icondeer-o:
deer-o Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Student Photographer
oh :(
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:iconaxyic:
AXYIC Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014
Poor little robin : (
Nice poem, really. Short, depicting a whole image and situation, easy to understand, I think. And a bit moving.
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:iconeqonosp:
Eqonosp Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
eerie and beautiful
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:icondragontygress:
DragonTygress Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
The simplicity of this drew my attention when I saw it on the front page, and it's really a wonderful poem. As it turned out, all your work is this powerful! You've gotten another watcher.
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014
wow, thank you so much! :thanks:
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:icondragontygress:
DragonTygress Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome! <3
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:icontickersymbol:
tickersymbol Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Powerfully emotive!
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014
:thanks:
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:iconthroughshining:
Throughshining Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014
It's images and contrasts like this that made me add you to my watch list in the first place. Brilliant and powerful.
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014
why thank you kind sir :heart:
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:iconanila73:
anila73 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
i've seen too many dead robins
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014
it's never nice is it :(
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:iconhrbutunts:
hrbutunts Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014
Oooo, that was really wonderful. Well written!
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014
thank you so much! :hug:
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:iconjustcallmefaye:
justcallmefaye Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
what an excellent turn of phrase. just excellent.
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014
thank you :thanks:
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:iconnanushii:
Nanushii Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014
my heart shriveled a bit while reading this
Heart 
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014
:heart:
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:iconjohnashleigh:
JohnAshleigh Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014   Writer
An intense image. Thankyou for sharing.

Regards,
John.
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:iconrowanthefierce:
RowantheFierce Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014  Student Writer
So short and simple, but so deep! Gah, well done here, I'm amazed! 
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:iconpereyga:
Pereyga Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh noo
that poor robin
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:icondevonator4:
Devonator4 Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Coo
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:iconmysticmcr:
MysticMcR Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014
Beautiful, so meaningful :)
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January 3, 2014
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