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the sea spits
me back onto
the shore -

the waves say
this is not the
right tide, the
right time
and i can't go against it
no
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:iconblissbaby13:
BlissBaby13 Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014  Student General Artist
It sounds so fresh and honest and - what I love most - lyrical. The last two lines make it for me. I love the way you write...!
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2014
thank you so much! :thanks:
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:iconblissbaby13:
BlissBaby13 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2014  Student General Artist
No problem! <3
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:iconnotensmsk:
NotenSMSK Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is simple and expressive. I like the theme and how you have portrayed it. The expanse of expressions and interpretations out of this can be huge - not necessarily a good thing so I cannot decide if any further addition would have made this more interesting and pleasurable to read or would have diminished its feel.

Over all a fine work.
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:iconcederlina:
Cederlina Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014
Beautiful!
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:iconaia42:
AIA42 Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
This makes me wonder so many things, what caused them to go into the ocean in the first place, why it's not the right time, what they're going to do now ..... beautiful capture of a moment. The ambiguity of the circumstances magnifies this part of the bigger picture (if there is one). 
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:icondaughteroftheforests:
DaughterOfTheForests Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This one is great - very inspiring! Heart 
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014
thank you so much! :blush:
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:iconrosella-of-daventry:
Rosella-of-Daventry Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I love when I see a story and I see a character! This is just awesome, literally. :rose:
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2014
you are so kind, thank you so much :blushes:
Reply
:iconnuminousnocturne:
NuminousNocturne Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I don't usually care for short poems (I'm a prose poet myself) but this is just so mesmerizing and elegant. Well done. I really enjoyed reading this.
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2014
thank you so much! i'm glad you like it :thanks:
Reply
:iconpuzzledheartbox:
PuzzledHeartBox Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014
Short and sweet.
This is the one kind of short poems I really love.
Accurate, down to the core and not a single word used without a meaning behind it.

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:iconroadtowhatever:
RoadToWhatever Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
It's damn hard to accept it sometimes...
"This is not the right tide, the right time"
Love that line.
Reply
:iconjackgunski:
jackgunski Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014
I spent a few minutes trying to decide what to say about this poem, but I came up with very little. It's simple, but there's a hidden layer of complexity, almost like a tragic love story in nature. It's sad, but it's a sadness I want to feel. I want to know more, but I think that might ruin the effect. :shehrozeameen: was essentially right. This is a fantastic poem.
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2014
ah you did not have to say anything at all, so the fact that you did is enough for me :thanks: thank you so much for your kind words, and for taking the time to read it! it means a lot to me.
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:clap: another poem pouring out brilliance! Wonderful work! Honestly - you never disappoint!

This work... Honestly... the best thing about it is hopeless till the very end... its something which jackgunski would be very proud of! Honestly!

A job very well done! A poem bleeding substance... begging for more exposure! Why isn't it being given exposure?!


Beautiful work!
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:iconkaizenkitty:
KaizenKitty Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2014  Student Writer
I try going against it anyway
it'll always be there
what's the use
waiting?
Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2014
something i've been thinking a lot lately.
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:iconbobskeet:
bobskeet Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Love this one.
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2014
:heart:
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:iconstraybutterflies:
straybutterflies Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014
i wish i could do this much with so little. your words are always perfect.

there's a dull, empty ache to this piece that i recognize, like these seven lines are the culmination of every emotion i've had since the day it ended. i usually don't write comments but these words touched me, that recognition.  it's stunning and it would break my heart if said heart wasn't so apathetic.

i hope you are okay.
Reply
:icondeer-o:
deer-o Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Student Photographer
it makes me think of poetry of Ingrid Jonker.
Simple, sad, true.
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:icon13thbloodhound:
13thBloodhound Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
easy to read
indeed
Reply
:iconjohnashleigh:
JohnAshleigh Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014   Writer
A powerfully insightful piece. It seems to have a personal tone, but one that is easily understood. Amazing. Thankyou.

Regards,
John.
Reply
:iconsjemenka:
Sjemenka Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
gorgeous. :D
Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014
thank you :thanks:
Reply
:iconapollospace:
apollospace Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014  Professional General Artist
Sigh.....
It happened to me many times
That's why I can read your words
and cry
just a little
over your lines...
Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014
i am very sorry to hear that :cling: :heart:
Reply
:iconapollospace:
apollospace Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Professional General Artist
Oh, Don't worry, happy to have survived it all...:)
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014
i am happy you did too, truly :tighthug:
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:iconwordeea:
wordeea Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
perfect
Reply
:iconmardoqueo:
Mardoqueo Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Bingo! Pretty as usual my friend....
Reply
:iconsyrinq:
Syrinq Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014
this is really beautiful, it can say a lot if you think about it ~
Reply
:iconis-lnds:
Is-lnds Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013
reminds me of a sws i wrote

i like how you've expanded
the idea here, made it more
personal
Reply
:iconsnowywolf13:
snowywolf13 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Beautiful. It says so much in so little words.
Reply
:icongoodbyeafterglow:
goodbyeafterglow Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013  Professional Writer
your writing puts paintings in my head, the images. i don't think i've ever read anyone else who does that
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:iconverityrose:
VerityRose Featured By Owner Mar 20, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
And especially not in so little words. It's all so amazing.
Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014
oh, thank you :blushes: :rose:
Reply
:iconjuliapolay:
JuliaPolay Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I just want to illustrate your poetry.
Reply
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December 31, 2013
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