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Submitted on
December 2, 2013
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48
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winter gave
birth to a baby,
cold and still
Add a Comment:
 
:iconsporediatrymisss:
SporeDiatrymisss Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That turned me so cold... ;__;
Reply
:iconkeitone:
keitone Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
three stanzas with a gravity of definition... 
Reply
:iconseptemberskies2298:
SeptemberSkies2298 Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
unsettling. The contrast between the two meanings is so large - peace and despair.
Reply
:iconanikadstewart:
AnikaDStewart Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2014  Student Writer
You're right. Unsettling is the perfect way to describe it, in the best possible way of course
Reply
:iconsitarache2000:
SitaraChe2000 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
how wonderfully sadHeart 
it also forces empathy
Reply
:iconivanradev:
IvanRadev Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2014  Professional General Artist
This is such a well-written lune, the twist is amazing. I am genuinely impressed.
Reply
:iconcality:
cality Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is beautiful, and so haunting and tragic. The coldness really comes through, despite the shortness of the poem. <3
Reply
:iconsexykitty28:
SexyKitty28 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I can't explain why this is the most beautiful poem I have ever read. Yes, it's haunting... but absolutely mesmerizing.
Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013
i feel so honoured that you would feel that way about one of my poems :blushes:
thank you so much :heart:
Reply
:iconsexykitty28:
SexyKitty28 Featured By Owner Dec 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Anytime, your poetry is absolutely fantastic. :heart:
Reply
:iconwai-jing:
Wai-Jing Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
I love haiku, and this is a wonderful use of the format. Absolutely stunning.
It tells only just enough, hinting at heartbreak, leading us to draw our own conclusions - the effect is downright eerie.
Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2013
thank you very much :thanks:
Reply
:iconjohnashleigh:
JohnAshleigh Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013   Writer
This is intense. 
Reply
:iconghost-of-a-gone-bird:
ghost-of-a-gone-bird Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2013
 keep spitting them out,Heart 
Reply
:icontheladyj:
TheLadyJ Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh...shit. @.@ mind blown.
Reply
:iconpepper131361:
pepper131361 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Uh oh
Reply
:iconponyxing:
PonyXing Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
oh my god.
this makes me get goosebumps
Reply
:iconjanazza:
Janazza Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013
I can't even tell you the chills I got from this. No pun involved. 
Reply
:iconroxyisanerd:
Roxyisanerd Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconwatplz:
Reply
:iconjewelimpressiveworld:
JewelImpressiveWorld Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Student Filmographer
At first I was all like
:icondafuqijustreadplz:
then i was all like
:iconitsbeautifulplz:
Reply
:iconwolfofthemoons:
WolfOfTheMoons Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Jack Frost.
Reply
:iconamaranth-lucine:
Amaranth-Lucine Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Dead baby joke? Do you watch The Walking Dead? :D
Reply
:iconpepper131361:
pepper131361 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
OmG !!!!!!!! They're killing me with that !!!!! Lol glad I wasn't the only one to think of that.
Reply
:iconamaranth-lucine:
Amaranth-Lucine Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
Reply
:iconnimine54:
Nimine54 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
nine words, but still so effective. 
Reply
:iconluanmonta:
LuanMonta Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Professional Filmographer
I couldn't say better words... indeed very effective!
Reply
:iconbumsy:
Bumsy Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013
I like dead baby jokes. 10/10!
Reply
:iconiridescentcatalyst:
IridescentCatalyst Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013
Nice! Any reasoning behind this?
Reply
:iconnightmarecrypienix:
NightmareCryPieNix Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013
Winter gave
Birth to a child,
Cold and still
Until it died. 


I have no idea what I just wrote. 
Reply
:iconjunkygrungegirl14:
JuNkYgRuNgEgIrL14 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Student General Artist
I like it :XD:
Even though it's a haiku!! XD
Reply
:iconpiedpiper1103:
piedpiper1103 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
the most beautiful thing I have ever read! Happy Cry 
Reply
:iconjswebb:
jswebb Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013   Writer
Ouch.

I enjoy your wordplay, especially in these snapshot-poem moments; it really brings multiple layers to the piece and allows the reader to pick it apart as they see fit.
Reply
:iconbeclosbird:
beclosbird Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
This is so beautiful  :heart:
Reply
:iconthe-phillip:
The-Phillip Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013
GET A FUCKING SPACE HEATER
Reply
:iconbig-red-2013:
Big-red-2013 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

Oh my god-

my thoughts exactly!!!

Reply
:icondarkflametailz:
Darkflametailz Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
sure that's more then 1 baby :meow:
Reply
:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013
That's a good baby, less diapers to worry about.:bucktooth:
Reply
:iconpepper131361:
pepper131361 Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Woow..
Reply
:iconveterilu:
VeTeRiLu Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist
:happycry:
Reply
:iconhazydreamerneko:
HazyDreamerNeko Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013
... This reminds me of Sound Horizon (It's a band I love xD)
A particular character is a still born in winter... (Hiver ^^)
Reply
:iconaeternusvotum:
AeternusVotum Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha, imouto-chan! :lol:
That was exactly my thought when I read this, too :rofl:
Reply
:iconhazydreamerneko:
HazyDreamerNeko Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013
Haha onee-chan +watch her too? xD
But yea. Also gin iro no basha. Too much SH xDDD
Reply
:iconwolfchild1214:
wolfchild1214 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student
beautiful :)
Reply
:iconthebloodyepicpumpkin:
TheBloodyEpicPumpkin Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Student Writer
Beautifully sad.
Reply
:iconkissysaltcoatedangel:
kissysaltcoatedangel Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Chilling, excuse the pun. :) 
Reply
:iconanila73:
anila73 Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
nOT EXCUSED
Reply
:iconkissysaltcoatedangel:
kissysaltcoatedangel Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
sORRY xD 
Reply
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