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she calls down angels
just to burn their
righteous wings,
to see them rise then
fall, those flailing
doves

she tells them, this
is what it's like
to be human

and they say judgement
will arrive for you, my
girl, you will be
cleansed by burning
light

and i strike another match
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:iconnutcase9:
Nutcase9 Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2014  Student General Artist
God is cruel, long live Satan.
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:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is just so powerful. And that last line is just perfect. (Am I correct in assuming that the last line used to be in the author's comments? I was snooping through the other comments here...lol.)
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2014
yes it did :P
it originally ended after 'to be human'
and the rest was the authors comments. after i'd written the description i did think about adding it to the poem, but submitted the shorter version. and then someone suggested i add it so i did aha :hug:
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:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Oh okay I see. Yes, that last stanza and then the closing line definitely make this. :hug:
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:iconbiasanti:
Biasanti Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2014
this. is. the truth. of life.
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:iconseilf:
Seilf Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
TRUTH.
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:iconkippytreekojk:
kippytreekojk Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2013
I had to read this several times. It was gorgeous, I love you're style of poetry !
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2013
aw thank you so much :thanks: i'm glad you like it! :heart:
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:iconlady-yume:
Lady-Yume Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2013   Writer
Ohmy. That last sentence. Brilliant. :heart:
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2013
thank you so much :thanks: :heart:
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:iconchewyraezen:
chewyraezen Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
are you her judgement or is it divine energy, god if you will? 
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:iconpandalings:
Pandalings Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Senseless, light and beautiful, as if it tiptoed into your heart and became stone -heavy
Reply
:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2013
what the :faint:
as if it tiptoed into your heart and became stone -heavy
i think you just described the EXACT feeling that comes over me when i need to write something.
how did you do that
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:iconpandalings:
Pandalings Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm magical!
Reply
:iconchilleddestiny:
ChilledDestiny Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2013
The poems you make have so much meaning! I love them and you are very talented :D
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2013
thank you so much for this beautiful compliment :thanks:
it means a lot to me to know that people like my writing!
Reply
:iconchilleddestiny:
ChilledDestiny Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2013
Yay!
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:iconforeststone:
Foreststone Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful :heart:
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013
thank you so much :thanks:
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:iconforeststone:
Foreststone Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Welcome :huggle:
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:iconhihi2463:
hihi2463 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013  Student General Artist
That was powerful keep up the good writing
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013
thank you :tighthug:
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:iconeremitik:
Eremitik Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013
Have you thought about including your authors comment in the poem itself? It adds a lot of emotion and depth.
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2013
i've been considering that since i submitted it haha. i think i will though :)
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:iconeremitik:
Eremitik Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013
Its just my two-sense, so to speak, lol.
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:iconthemidnightwhisp:
TheMidnightWhisp Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
)': This is quite sad. Well done. I really like your style of poetry.
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013
thank you :thanks:
Reply
:iconthemidnightwhisp:
TheMidnightWhisp Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:) Anytime.
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