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you said november was a
kick in the teeth
and life goes on
get over it

and i thought god
now i know how the birds feel
lying dead on my kitchen floor
i want this here.
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:iconchipchinka:
Chipchinka Featured By Owner May 15, 2015   Writer
I love poetic logic!  There's no way this should make sense and yet it makes perfect sense!  It's brilliant!  It's visceral and packs a wallop.
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:icontheimaginativeauthor:
Theimaginativeauthor Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2014
nicely done, if you have time you can read my poetry as well it will mean a lot.
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:iconchildwoman:
childwoman Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
This is so intriguing. It really draws you in.
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013
thank you! :hug:
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:iconformaniac:
formaniac Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Student Writer

You have a new fan.

 

My birthday is in November.

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:icongypsymountainman:
GypsyMountainman Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2013  Professional Writer
I love your poetry!
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013
i'm glad you like my writing :thanks: :tighthug:
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:icongypsymountainman:
GypsyMountainman Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2013  Professional Writer
I am glad you share it!
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:iconantoinettegiulia:
AntoinetteGiulia Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I feel like you pulled this out of my skull.
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2013
ooh, well i am not quite sure how to respond to that :worry:
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:iconantoinettegiulia:
AntoinetteGiulia Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It takes talent!
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013
thank you so much, really :thanks:
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:iconfake-theory:
fake-theory Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013
this is perfect.
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2013
thank you so much :)
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:iconmeggie272:
Meggie272 Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You have a brilliant simplicity and economy in your language, and you use it to be cutting and mournful, and it's great.
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013
thank you so much :huggle:
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:iconaway-with-knives:
aWay-with-knives Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Student General Artist

don't take it personal. "economy in language" is slang for I get gay with kids and talk about it with people who beat me, in turn, with a stick

 

 

 

let's kill everyone before they kill us

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:iconhaphazardmelody:
haphazardmelody Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is fantastic.
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013
thank you so much! :tighthug:
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:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013   Writer
did you mean 'and i thank god' ? I can't seem to make sense of that one line going into the next (which is probably due to my ignorance) so please correct me! (: 

this is another marvelous gem of a poem. those last two lines are really memorable.
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:iconoaklungs:
oaklungs Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013
ah, my bad! i should have typed a comma after the word thought i think. when writing it originally the phrase 'and i thought, god' was in my mind in a tone of frustration. but alas my typing skills are not that grand, and poetry is something personal to each and every reader :)
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:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013   Writer
that makes so much more sense than what I thought! thank you for clearing it up for me. I think the frustration there is perfect with this poem and I love it even more. :heart:
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